No – I’m not talking about that language.
I recently got into a Facebook “debate” with a guy on the topic of success. He claimed that many people who are in ordinary jobs, living ordinary lives, not really being or doing what they really want to be or do because they are “stuck.” That’s the word he used – stuck. It didn’t matter that these people he was referring to had enjoyed equal educational opportunities as everybody else while growing up, lived on the same side of town, knew the same people, and on and on I could go. According to my Facebook Friend, these people were simply stuck where they are, and in his opinion, never going to get where they want to be in life. “There is nothing they can do,” he said.
I pressed him further, trying my best to get to the bottom of why he assumed some people were stuck where they are in life, likely never to get out. All he could give me is – that is just the way it is for some people.
In a way he is right. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Listen, I get that there are external factors in life that some people have to overcome that others do not. There are people alive today who were born into families in very poor, poverty stricken countries who found a way to get out, get an education, and become very productive, successful people. On the other hand, I personally know people who were born into very wealthy, privileged families who never amounted to a hill-of-beans.
Why? How does this happen? And why is my argument to my Facebook friend – that nobody is ever stuck – true?
It is all about the language that you use.
Hear me out.
When I was in real estate full time, we were given, and encouraged to listen to, a CD that was nothing but words and phrases of affirmation. They would tell us to listen to this CD daily, preferably first thing in the morning, on our way to the office, or on our way to an appointment. I’ve heard motivational speakers, I’ve read inspirational writers, and even pastors talk about filling your life with words of affirmation, inspiration and encouragement. I have come to absolutely believe that the first step in a new direction for your life, your job, your family…anything you want to change, is in the language that you use.
Like me, you probably know someone who uses profanity on a regular basis. Nobody just one day starts using profanity. First they hear it, then they will use a word here or there, slowly integrating it into their everyday vocabulary. Over time, it becomes second nature. They do it without even thinking about it. They changed their language.
I have two brothers who are both very accomplished musicians. Both play trumpet. They didn’t become successful trumpet players just by deciding that was what they wanted to do. They practiced daily. For hours. They took the instrument that they wanted to play, and they played…and played…and played.
In real estate, we were never to use the word “but.” What happens when you use the word but? Think about it. Nothing gets accomplished when your language regularly includes the word but.
I was going to call that prospective buyer, but…
I was going to finish working on my presentation, but…
I was going to practice my trumpet, but…
Earlier, I said that in a way my friend was right. What I mean by that is, the people who he considers to be stuck are there because they refuse to change the language that they use. They are convinced that no matter what they do, they will always be stuck in that job, stuck in that relationship, driving that same car, living in that same house….and they all use the word “but” fifty times a day.
You want to change your situation? Improve your life? Get a raise? Get a promotion? Buy your dream house or your dream car? START by watching the language that you use. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and fill your mind with words of affirmation. Remove the “ifs” and “buts” from your vocabulary. Quit playing the blame game, and realize that in order for you to get “unstuck” you need to watch your language.
Remember…Life Begins TODAY!!!